Some of you may be aware that I am being made redundant at the end of this school year which did come as a huge shock to me when I found out in February (on my birthday BTW!) but I’ve now come to terms with it…or so I thought.
What I haven’t shared with you is that I’m currently on sick leave.
The week of half term break was great, I spent time with the children, my family and my best friend (Mrs Bot) I filled the week up. So when it came to Sunday night, the dread of going back to school was a bit of a shock. I knew that I wasn’t enjoying any more and I was pretty much going through the motions before we broke up – which I have never done because I have always loved teaching.
On the Monday morning I phoned in sick, just saying that I was ‘unwell’, I did that for a week. Then on the Friday I went to the doctors and sobbed, it was like a relief to be able to tell someone the pressure I felt to find another job, the pressure I felt to want to get a job that would fit in as well as my old job into the family, the pressure I felt to stay positive and so on…
To be honest I think the doctor just panicked when he saw me cry and gave me a 2 week sicknote for anxiety and told me to come back after the 2 weeks to see how things were going.
During those 2 weeks I took my children out of their child care provision for a couple of days a week so that I could spend some quality time with them without running backwards and forwards to work but I also got to have a couple of days to myself. I went on the running machine, I had nice long showers, I had lunch when I wanted (not based on the school or the children’s hours)…basically I pleased myself.
The 2 weeks came to an end and I went back to the doctor, we agreed that I would have another 2 weeks to concentrate on being calmer and then I would go back to work for the last week of term so I could have (wait for the Americanism) ‘closure’. I think it’s important to me that I say that physical goodbye to my 12 years at this school. It’s been such an important part of my life and now it’s time to move on and see what new adventures are in store.
The title of this blog post is ‘Quality Time’ and I think I’ve been able to have quality time with my children but also quality time with myself. I have never been in this situation, and I really hope not to be in it any time soon as I feel pretty helpless at times, but I am working on a plan and I hope to share that with you soon.
Everyone needs to have their own quality time, you need to make time for yourself. For when you are just ‘you’. Not ‘mummy’, ‘wife’, ‘teacher’ etc. just ‘you’.