Yes this is a birth story! I know that there are loads of these already out there but I wanted to share mine.
My pregnancy with Big M had been pretty straight forward. There was a lot of worry at the beginning as I’d had a miscarriage about 9 months before I fell pregnant for the 2nd time. It was obviously a worrying time but I enjoyed being pregnant and only had ridiculous heart burn to contend with. I couldn’t wait to meet this little person who was kicking and punching from the inside.
Big M was due on the 14th Nov and I left work before the October half term break thinking I had tons of time to get the house ready and make lots of food in preparation for the madness of having a newborn baby in the house.
So I left work on the Friday, on Wednesday my waters broke. Well to be honest I didn’t really know of if my waters had broken or not. Id gone to the loo as normal, my ‘plug’ had gone but that was about it. I mentioned it to my mum and we just thought things must be starting. I went to bed with a sanitary towel on as I was ‘leaking’!
The next day I kind of thought my waters had broken so I phoned the hospital and they suggested we popped in for a check. So off we went and it was confirmed that my waters had broken but my contractions hadn’t started. So I went to the local shopping centre to get some last minute bits and pieces in an effort to get things going. I had until 6pm other wise I would have to go in to be induced which was something i desperately did not want!
It was Halloween and we had a number of trick or treaters including a student of mine which really spooked me 😂😂
So back to the hospital we went as my contractions still hadn’t kicked in. I hated every minute of being induced, I was checked all the time during the night so sleep was out of the question. By time the morning came still nothing was happening the medication had to be upped.
That’s when things started to get interesting…
Big M’s heart rate kept dropping so the medical staff had to the reduce the medication and start again. I was prepped for surgery ‘just in case’. I was checked to see if all my waters had broken, turns out no which led the worst part of the whole experience for me. I was given gas and air so they could puncture the last water bag. That was so unpleasant, I hated the gas and air I felt so out of control. It really wasn’t for me! It made me quite worried about the possibility of having to use gas and air when it got the pushing stage.
It never got that far.
I asked if I could go to the loo, there was no way I was going to go in front of everyone. When I shuffled my way back to the room all hooked up to the monitors, the baby’s heart rate had dropped again as I was still only 1 cm dilated. I was rushed down to the theatre.
This was probably the most frightened I had ever been in my entire life!
I couldn’t really take in what was happening and even now there are moments that I simply don’t remember. I do remember sitting on the bed and having the injection on my back and then having to have the bed raised as the anaesthetic was making it’s way up my body as quickly as the doctors wanted it to be. I remember the nurses who were at the bump end talking about how neat my bump was, which felt so odd at the time as I couldn’t see these people as my gown was being used as the screen. I remember my husband sitting next to me holding my hand, trying to stay calm. I have no idea who he managed to keep it together as everything felt so chaotic.
My beautiful daughter was born without a hitch, she was checked straight away and we given her to hold as soon as possible. I can remember her button nose and her rosebud mouth so clearly, I cried and cried through happiness and relief that everything was okay. I was then wheeled into the side room which felt a little like cupboard and I was able to phone my mum and finally tell her the name that we had chosen. Matilda. In fact I actually forgot to tell her that she was Matilda Kate after my grandma who had passed away a few months earlier. It was such a whirlwind.
We were all taken up to the ward and that’s when the fun really started. How was I going to look after this little baby when I wasn’t able to move? Mr VB wasn’t allowed to stay on the ward with me so I had to rely on the nurses on the ward to pass me the baby if she was crying or needed changing. It was tough especially has Matilda wasn’t taking to breast feeding. It hadn’t even crossed my mind that we wouldn’t be able to do it. It always looked so natural I presumed it would just click into place…I was so wrong and it simply wouldn’t happen.
We were allowed home next day as we had both passed all of our tests (all apart from feeding, however we convinced them we needed to be in the comfort of our home in order for it to work, but that’s another story!). The weather was horrific, I don’t think I have ever seen as much rain in my life, Mr VB drove with such care, but that still didn’t stop the pain when we went round corners ad over speed bumps!
Eventually when we got home my parents were there and they finally got to meet our new baby.
Writing this was more emotional than I expected it to be, remembering the fear, lack of control and then finally relief and pure joy had been forgotten ever so slightly to make room for every day life. I am so grateful for all the staff at the hospital and my husband who remained calm and pretty much lied to me the whole way through telling me that everything was okay!