I fell pregnant when Big M was 7 months old, it was a little bit of a shock that we had fallen so quickly after deciding that we would try without trying! It had taken a while to fall pregnant with Big M so we kind of presumed that things would be the same this time around.
I was working on the school summer school at the time. I remember feeling dizzy and having heartburn while teaching a session. Both of these were symptoms of my first pregnancy…so I was a little suspicious! I got home that day and sent Mr VB to the local supermarket to get a test. He had to hide from his sister as she happened to be in there at the same time.
I took the test and I was 3-4 weeks pregnant.
We sat for a very long while and said shit a lot (sorry mum!)
We decided to tell my family at my cousins wedding which would make me around 6/7 weeks gone. I remember their faces when we told them. Shock and happiness is the only way to describe it.
I then had to go back to school in the September and tell my head teacher that even though I only ended my maternity leave in the may I was now telling her I was going to have another baby and would be off for another 7 months. She wasn’t best pleased.
In my experience, when people saw that I was pregnant and pushing a pram around there were often mixed reactions. Some people told me I was wise to get it all out of the way, others looked at me with a look of pity and questions of if it was planned or not. There were many times when I had to bit my tongue and not slap these people across the face.
When little M was born, we had a planned C-Section so Big M was already sorted at her grandparents and we had 2 nights on own before she came home. So things didn’t really hit home until about night 3. Big M decided at that moment that she was going to start teething again. At 16 months the fangs were coming through. Trying to juggle a newborn and teething toddler was pretty much hell on earth. One night poor Big M would simply not settle, I couldn’t see to her as Little M was being particularly fussy. So Mr VB decided that he should take Big M for a drive to try and get her to sleep. This was the one and only time we had done this, but we were feeling very desperate that night. He ended up driving to Scotland and back. We live in Teesside, so it was a fair way. He was gone all night. I think that this was probably one of our lowest moments.
Mr VB went back to work after a month. I was so lucky to have him home for that amount of time, but after experiencing the recovery from the first C-Section we knew that I would need a lot of help.
That first week I was on my own, I think I cried every day. I struggled with the different routines and I find it so hard to get it right. I felt sorry for Big M as she still wasn’t walking so she didn’t have much independence and I worried that I wasn’t giving her enough attention. Big M was still having naps and as she was my first baby I hadn’t been brave enough to leave her to nap on her own during the day so she needed to be walked in a the pram or taken for a drive – as I wasn’t able to drive for 6 weeks after the operation it was the pram mainly around our estate. I didn’t want to use the double buggy all the time so I invested in a baby wrap. That was fun, especially when Little M would be sick down my chest as we went on our daily walk around my estate.
I would say that the first 12 months were the most difficult, but as soon as Little M was walking and eating the same as Big M. We were winning!! Don’t get me wrong, that sounds like we wished our time away with our youngest daughter. That’s really not true, Little M brings so much joy into our family and seeing her grow in that first year being so determined to do everything her big sister did amazes me every day.
The girls are now the best of friends. The best time of my day at the moment is when we go back out to play after teatime. They normally have an ice cream and then the run around together like crazy people. The hold hands, run around the garden and laugh and laugh and laugh. I don’t think that there is a better feeling that seeing your children play together. I often to referee as they can be quite rough with each other. My little girls are not quite full of sugar and spice and all things nice!!
Having my children close together in age has it’s ups and downs. They are not the closet in age that I know, however people do ask me if they are twins which does make me laugh. I wouldn’t have it any other way, how could I? I see my girls are hopefully going to best friends all of their life. I can’t wait to see what mischief they get up to, it will be Little M leading the way as she’s the gobby one. Big M is the fearless one, so she’ll be up for anything. It’s going to be nuts!
Here’s to many adventures with my two gorgeous girls.